I never understood a child's journey toward walking before. I mean, I am not able to remember my infancy, so I am not able to comprehend what was going through my head when I was teaching myself to walk as a toddler. UNTIL NOW! I have the god forsaken task of teaching myself how to walk in my boot for the next couple weeks. Holy Crap... Its scary!
Notice those small, sorta sideways steps. Yep, I am doing that too. That's the brain telling my injured leg that it isn't strong enough to handle all the weight of my body, so quick, sideways steps that get the other foot to the ground pretty fast helps. Notice how fast that other leg gets to the ground. Notice the fall, I have just taken my first "learning to walk" fall. I subsequently crawled to my destination as well. The only difference between my current journey and that of the baby in the video is that his falls don't hurt, my falls suck!
I am an infant again. Thank You for your continued support.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
That Damn Shower!
I like my inlaws, I really do. I took Chris Hill to a Cubs game last Fathers day. That weekend we (Nikki, Darlene, Chris and I) happened to go to Giordano's near Midway Airport. When I say near, I mean across the street from Midway. Anyway, as a plane was coming in for a landing, it scared the absolute shit out them both, sorta like this:
Anyway, I posted that video, not as a nastalgic memory of last years comedic experience with a plane, rather to illustrate my reaction to seeing my leg after a fateful shower at drill. "Shit", "Oh Fuck" and "Fuck Me" were phrases that described my reaction.
So, again, I took a shower on Sunday of drill. I have been using a shower seat at home when I showered. I had the ability to keep my incision relatively dry by putting my leg outside of the range of the water while seated. I had no such luxury at drill. So in the enclosed space of a standard military shower, essentially, my incision was directly under me and the shower-head while I showered. My doctors had stated that as long as the incision didn't get soaked (as in submerged), it and I would be fine. I never really trusted that notion, hence my showers at home with the incision outside of the water, but I had no real choice at drill. So after the shower, no problems, well except the fact that my underwear went MIA, but no problems with the incision.
Fast forward, its Wednesday night, I noticed that the tape on my incision was wet. IT HAS NEVER BEEN WET FOR THIS LONG. It generally dries directly after showering. I also noticed, that it looks like there may be a "puss" coming from the tape. I am not sure though. My reaction... OH SHIT!
Next Day... more of the same except for there is a little pain now. My reaction...Oh FUCK!
Friday, after work. This GD thing hurts! It feels like pins and needles back there. WTF!?! So i began the process of removing the tape. I unleash the nastiest looking infected section of month old incision, I have ever seen. Its too late to call my surgeon or his nurse, so I began to clean it with peroxide and apply clean gauze 2x daily, my reaction... FUCK ME!
I am now on an anti-biotic, and have had my recovery timetable pushed back a week. That damn shower!
Anyway, I posted that video, not as a nastalgic memory of last years comedic experience with a plane, rather to illustrate my reaction to seeing my leg after a fateful shower at drill. "Shit", "Oh Fuck" and "Fuck Me" were phrases that described my reaction.
So, again, I took a shower on Sunday of drill. I have been using a shower seat at home when I showered. I had the ability to keep my incision relatively dry by putting my leg outside of the range of the water while seated. I had no such luxury at drill. So in the enclosed space of a standard military shower, essentially, my incision was directly under me and the shower-head while I showered. My doctors had stated that as long as the incision didn't get soaked (as in submerged), it and I would be fine. I never really trusted that notion, hence my showers at home with the incision outside of the water, but I had no real choice at drill. So after the shower, no problems, well except the fact that my underwear went MIA, but no problems with the incision.
Fast forward, its Wednesday night, I noticed that the tape on my incision was wet. IT HAS NEVER BEEN WET FOR THIS LONG. It generally dries directly after showering. I also noticed, that it looks like there may be a "puss" coming from the tape. I am not sure though. My reaction... OH SHIT!
Next Day... more of the same except for there is a little pain now. My reaction...Oh FUCK!
Friday, after work. This GD thing hurts! It feels like pins and needles back there. WTF!?! So i began the process of removing the tape. I unleash the nastiest looking infected section of month old incision, I have ever seen. Its too late to call my surgeon or his nurse, so I began to clean it with peroxide and apply clean gauze 2x daily, my reaction... FUCK ME!
I am now on an anti-biotic, and have had my recovery timetable pushed back a week. That damn shower!
What is Battle Assembly Like as an Injured Company Commander? Part 2
So after all the questions had passed, the logistical question of how the "F" I was supposed to get around all weekend was in front of me. Especially since the unit would be conducted basically mounted movement to conduct convoys in the woods. I decided to get a van, a driver (Morrison, you rocked!) and essentially hop through the snow, ice and slush in order to...
1. Act as observer on the lanes
2. Escort Battalion visitors around
3. Provide AAR comments on the lanes
The only thing I would redo on Saturday was the fact that most of my unit bedded down at around midnight. It sucked to be us that night.
Sunday afternoon started with a shower. This shower has cost me in so many ways, I care not to discuss it in much detail now, but I will talk about my Achilles setback later. Anyway, on the way to the shower, which is a 30 second hop from my office, I lost my underwear. I did not notice that I had lost said drawers until I got out of the shower. Butt-ass naked, I desperately searched for this damn pair of Ralph Lauren boxers until CW3 Dietrich walked into the bathroom. I looked over and said "Chief, I think I lost my underwear". His reply "Thats what those were", he leaves the bathroom, and returns with lost underoo's. He then jokes later that he bet the reason I am alive today is that no father of any girl I have ever dated has ever walked in on me naked and looking for my underwear. I concur! This story has no literal significance, but metaphorically it shows how the unit "picks up for" their injured Commander. HOOAH!
Sunday was pretty cool because I got to do three awesome things. I got to promote previously mentioned CW3 Dietrich to CW4 twice, and re-enlist one of my most dedicated NCO's, SSG Brown. Yes, I promoted Chief twice, yep, sure did. I would do it again if I have too, I would promote him every damn day if possible, he has been a mentor for me for a long time now, and I appreciate what he has done in his military career. Btw, It was pretty priceless to see me crutch to formation, promote someone and hop away. Only in the ARMY! All in all, it was a great weekend, except for one thing... To BE CONTINUED!
1. Act as observer on the lanes
2. Escort Battalion visitors around
3. Provide AAR comments on the lanes
The only thing I would redo on Saturday was the fact that most of my unit bedded down at around midnight. It sucked to be us that night.
Sunday afternoon started with a shower. This shower has cost me in so many ways, I care not to discuss it in much detail now, but I will talk about my Achilles setback later. Anyway, on the way to the shower, which is a 30 second hop from my office, I lost my underwear. I did not notice that I had lost said drawers until I got out of the shower. Butt-ass naked, I desperately searched for this damn pair of Ralph Lauren boxers until CW3 Dietrich walked into the bathroom. I looked over and said "Chief, I think I lost my underwear". His reply "Thats what those were", he leaves the bathroom, and returns with lost underoo's. He then jokes later that he bet the reason I am alive today is that no father of any girl I have ever dated has ever walked in on me naked and looking for my underwear. I concur! This story has no literal significance, but metaphorically it shows how the unit "picks up for" their injured Commander. HOOAH!
Sunday was pretty cool because I got to do three awesome things. I got to promote previously mentioned CW3 Dietrich to CW4 twice, and re-enlist one of my most dedicated NCO's, SSG Brown. Yes, I promoted Chief twice, yep, sure did. I would do it again if I have too, I would promote him every damn day if possible, he has been a mentor for me for a long time now, and I appreciate what he has done in his military career. Btw, It was pretty priceless to see me crutch to formation, promote someone and hop away. Only in the ARMY! All in all, it was a great weekend, except for one thing... To BE CONTINUED!
Monday, February 22, 2010
What is Battle Assembly Like as an Injured Company Commander? Part 1
Its definitely a sight to see for sure. First off, lets talk about prep. You never realize that your gear is all over the place until you have to track equipment down in three separate levels of the house. It took some three hours to accumulate, wash and pack all necessary items for this weekend, even with the help of wifey. It was crazy, and I knew my weekend was off to one hell of a start. Wifey left at about 7, so I was stuck, and had to the carry the equipment to the car, by myself! I literally carried a 60lb ruck on my back to the car, hopping on one leg the whole way (Yes I weighed the bag, and my crutches were dangerous to use in the snow!)
Then there is the car ride. Again, I am driving left footed, and will test your car's frame if you get too close. Anyway, if you think about the body position of someone who is driving left footed, in order to get the left foot near the pedal, the driver must cross his/legs and slightly turn the body. This is NOT a comfortable position. I had never realized it before because I hadn't made a long drive yet, but this body position is the WORST! There was some other craziness that occurred that night that requires its own damn blog entry, just know, I arrived at the hotel at 3am and I didn't sleep much after that either.
BA morning number 1. Rise and shine, I go to shower. I realize, "I don't have a handicap room. How the F am I supposed to get in that damn tub to shower?" My solution... "Well I am on Army time, lets try a combat roll into the tub!" What ensued was an outrageous barrel roll over the tub wall that you could possibly imagine. I have been researching funny rolling videos on Youtube to give you all an idea of this madness. I havent found one yet that does my roll justice! So, after my shower experience, I pack that ruck up on my back and head to the car. Get to car to realize, I left my car keys in the room. Expletives flew, luckily, I am pretty fast on crutches so no problem. I went back and retrieved the aforementioned keys. I get to Atterbury and greet the troops. Approximately 100 troops were on ground and about 46 of them are friends with me on Facebook, so they are aware of the injury. The other 54 asked 1 million questions... IT WAS CRAZY. This prompted me to make a PA Announcement about the injury, about this blog, and about not being my FB friend! I am close to issuing a command directive in writing to my troops to become my FB friend, I promise! Abuse of power my ARSE!!!
Part 2 to come shortly!
Then there is the car ride. Again, I am driving left footed, and will test your car's frame if you get too close. Anyway, if you think about the body position of someone who is driving left footed, in order to get the left foot near the pedal, the driver must cross his/legs and slightly turn the body. This is NOT a comfortable position. I had never realized it before because I hadn't made a long drive yet, but this body position is the WORST! There was some other craziness that occurred that night that requires its own damn blog entry, just know, I arrived at the hotel at 3am and I didn't sleep much after that either.
BA morning number 1. Rise and shine, I go to shower. I realize, "I don't have a handicap room. How the F am I supposed to get in that damn tub to shower?" My solution... "Well I am on Army time, lets try a combat roll into the tub!" What ensued was an outrageous barrel roll over the tub wall that you could possibly imagine. I have been researching funny rolling videos on Youtube to give you all an idea of this madness. I havent found one yet that does my roll justice! So, after my shower experience, I pack that ruck up on my back and head to the car. Get to car to realize, I left my car keys in the room. Expletives flew, luckily, I am pretty fast on crutches so no problem. I went back and retrieved the aforementioned keys. I get to Atterbury and greet the troops. Approximately 100 troops were on ground and about 46 of them are friends with me on Facebook, so they are aware of the injury. The other 54 asked 1 million questions... IT WAS CRAZY. This prompted me to make a PA Announcement about the injury, about this blog, and about not being my FB friend! I am close to issuing a command directive in writing to my troops to become my FB friend, I promise! Abuse of power my ARSE!!!
Part 2 to come shortly!
Monday, February 15, 2010
I Got Booted
I have boycotted my blog. I refused to post until I had a real change in my Achilles situation. I mean, you all could read about my random rants about everything (Go Saints!!!), and never actually get any info about my rehab. That's because the next step in the recovery was getting fitted for my walking boot. The boot was supposed to be in last week, however, it has been delayed on several occasions. So on Friday, I finally got it. The boot essentially locks my foot in the downward pointing position (approx 15 degrees). I have unlimited ability to move the foot down more, but the foot cannot pass the 15 degree mark coming up. The are medical terms to describe this as well. Currently my Dorsi-Flexion is fixed at 15 degrees, however my Plantar-Flexion is unlimited. (I am learning cool stuff) I will not be able to walk until the boot is in the neutral position (0 degrees). I promise to add a picture of this moon boot.
In other news, I AM INDEPENDENT. I have endeavored into left footed driving. I go sick of waiting on Nikki to take me places so I got proactive and taught myself how to drive with the other foot. I am pretty good, however if you don't want me to test the abilities of your car's frame like this:
I advise you to stay off the road Mon-Fri at 8:00-9:00 am or 4:00-5:00pm. Just sayin!
I also have a handicap pass. HA! Close parking and sympathy, ALL IN ONE!
One other note. The Winter Olympics just started. Last night I watched pairs figure skating. The current leaders after the short program were Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo from China. The reason I mention this is a few years ago Hongbo tore his Achilles. Here is what he can do now:
Needless to say, I get recovery motivation from everywhere I can!
In other news, I AM INDEPENDENT. I have endeavored into left footed driving. I go sick of waiting on Nikki to take me places so I got proactive and taught myself how to drive with the other foot. I am pretty good, however if you don't want me to test the abilities of your car's frame like this:
I advise you to stay off the road Mon-Fri at 8:00-9:00 am or 4:00-5:00pm. Just sayin!
I also have a handicap pass. HA! Close parking and sympathy, ALL IN ONE!
One other note. The Winter Olympics just started. Last night I watched pairs figure skating. The current leaders after the short program were Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo from China. The reason I mention this is a few years ago Hongbo tore his Achilles. Here is what he can do now:
Needless to say, I get recovery motivation from everywhere I can!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I HAVE BEEN SLACKING
I really haven't had a substantial post in 4 days. Lets get on that! First, I left the house on Friday for the first time in a week. I wish it was for a more glamorous purpose, but it was to go get an Indiana Driver's License (BOO!!!) I was happy with the service. My first social outing was a movie with the wife on Saturday. We saw "Up In The Air." Interesting movie! And then there was Monday!
My Post Operation Check-Up did not go according to plan. So first they unveiled the scar to me. Its about a 4 inch scar that resides vertically on the back of my leg. The incision is still healing and tape is still attached to it. I have dissovable suchres, so there will be no need to have stitches removed. There was no blood in the wrapping which means there were no complications post surgery. My leg has lost almost all muscle mass it once contained. In comparison to my left leg, the injured limb is about 75% of the size of the right and shrinking. I have pretty skinny legs anyway, and this makes it no better. This could also be the result of the extended exercise my left leg is getting right now.
Next, the nurse comes and tells me that the boot I have been waiting for isn't in yet. BUMMER!!! She then states that they may put me in a cast... NOOOOO! This is problematic for several reasons. I have not take a full shower since the surgery, and I really want to. The removable boot could be taken off, a cast cannot. This means no shower until the boot gets there. Plus, casts get dirty, they are less comfortable, my toes would still be exposed (is cold outside!), etc. So I tried to reason with the doctor into some other remedy. His response... keep the splint (removable) and shower. YES!!! I can get clean!
I am getting increasingly sick of sitting in this house. I am going to be practicing left foot driving so I can escape. I am going to work, NO MATTER WHAT, next week. Sick of being bored. Tired of no human interaction during the day. DONE!
My Post Operation Check-Up did not go according to plan. So first they unveiled the scar to me. Its about a 4 inch scar that resides vertically on the back of my leg. The incision is still healing and tape is still attached to it. I have dissovable suchres, so there will be no need to have stitches removed. There was no blood in the wrapping which means there were no complications post surgery. My leg has lost almost all muscle mass it once contained. In comparison to my left leg, the injured limb is about 75% of the size of the right and shrinking. I have pretty skinny legs anyway, and this makes it no better. This could also be the result of the extended exercise my left leg is getting right now.
Next, the nurse comes and tells me that the boot I have been waiting for isn't in yet. BUMMER!!! She then states that they may put me in a cast... NOOOOO! This is problematic for several reasons. I have not take a full shower since the surgery, and I really want to. The removable boot could be taken off, a cast cannot. This means no shower until the boot gets there. Plus, casts get dirty, they are less comfortable, my toes would still be exposed (is cold outside!), etc. So I tried to reason with the doctor into some other remedy. His response... keep the splint (removable) and shower. YES!!! I can get clean!
I am getting increasingly sick of sitting in this house. I am going to be practicing left foot driving so I can escape. I am going to work, NO MATTER WHAT, next week. Sick of being bored. Tired of no human interaction during the day. DONE!
Friday, January 29, 2010
I HAVE A FOLLOWER
My goodness! After 1 week and 130 views, I finally have a follower. YES!
A retraction from yesterday, Olin Kreutz did not have surgery on his Achilles Tendon, but a bone spur near the tendon. Damnit, I thought I had a friend!
Read about it here:
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/football/bears/2017682,CST-SPT-bsep29.article
A retraction from yesterday, Olin Kreutz did not have surgery on his Achilles Tendon, but a bone spur near the tendon. Damnit, I thought I had a friend!
Read about it here:
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/football/bears/2017682,CST-SPT-bsep29.article
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Random Rambles
If a guy on crutches falls, and no one is around to hear, does he make a sound when he hits the ground? I dont know, but that $h!% hurt!
On another note! Obviously being on the couch affords me some increased opportunity to watch things I wouldn't normally watch. I figured out this week that there is no reason to watch Keeping Up with The Kardashians EVER AGAIN! I am not sure why the show is so popular, but it is... I digress! However, some good television was President Obama's speech last night. Overall, I really liked the speech. He seemed extremely assertive. Quick Synopsis:The most interesting things from last night IMO were his attacks on the Supreme Ct for repealing ceilings on corporate campaign spending and him reminding me that he has never served in the military. I don't think he has passed or proposed one piece of military related legislation that I have completely agreed with. NOT ONE! As a Commander, I think I have some room to comment here. Gitmo, the 1.4% pay increase in 2011 (lowest annual increase since '73 The increase was 3.4% in 2010), Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell (believe me, I am very open minded, and I understand the complexity of this issue, but repealing that ban without the necessary military culture change will do more damage than good. Coupled with the fact that we are at war, the timing is odd. I JUST DON'T KNOW), his exit strategy for Iraq, and his "minimal" increase in Afghanistan. I disagree in one way or another with them ALL!
I do however agree with him scolding the Supreme Court. I understand its a political taboo, and asking congress "to correct their mistake" is strong, but Campaign Finance Reform is necessary, and this takes reform WAY back.
On to the foot. I have my Post-Op check-up on Monday. I will finally get to see the scar! I will also get my boot. That is literally the first step toward walking again. This splint is starting to itch, and I REALLY want to shower!!!!
On another note, Chicago Bears Center Olin Kreutz is having achilles surgery. He states that he will be rehabbing for 4-6 months. I want to compare my recovery to his! He will have everyday support and a medical staff at his disposal. I have Dr. Tioco and a Physical Therapists. Lets see who is recovered faster. In the mean time, maybe I can get him to watch my blog.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Will Smith May Miss the Biggest Party EVER!
Somebody... Anybody...tell me how a city gets a possible Superbowl Party and Mardi Gras, in a three-week span, AND I CANT GO!? How? This is so ridiculous. But on another level, I have a genuine concern for New Orleans if they win the Superbowl. I can see it now.
Feb. 7- Saints win Superbowl
Feb. 8-16- Party, Party Party, everybody gets wasted along with a Fat Tuesday
Feb. 17- New Orleans doesn't appear on Google Maps, Google Earth, Yahoo Maps or on Mapquest and the Corps of Engineers identifies the City as missing.
I have sources that live in the NO that tell me that Miami may be a place to be for the Superbowl, but New Orleans is THE PLACE TO BE from Jan 30 on. The city may just "Who Dat" itself right off the map. We almost lost that great city once, and now, a larger more dangerous threat has re-surfaced! New Orleans is about to lose its collective mind! I would be there! I promise! But this damn foot/calf/leg has me incarcerated, probably for my own good. I will pray for its inhabitants instead!I could always settle for Miami, just sayin!
On a more serious note, I hope for the best for New Orleans. That City deserves to have its spirits uplifted after the devastation of Katrina. I saw people shed tears of joy after watching the NFC Championship Game, and I truly understood why. The City itself hasn't quite recovered from the events of a few years ago. There is still a lot of emotional and financial healing that needs to occur, but the Saints have done alot to aid in both aspects. I really wanted to see Brett in the Superbowl, but I guess this is better for the the greater good. I am sure the entire country (minus Indiana) will be behind our Creole cousins from the South. I have officially joined WHO DAT NATION! They even got the PRESIDENT on their side!
By the way, the foot is fine, I have to keep it elevated for 50 out 60 minutes every hour, which sucks, but it could be worse! I am still not taking pain meds (so STUPID!). I have worked out twice doing crunches, modified push-ups, and shoulder press. I am trying to eat FAR less than usual, because I have no ability to do cardio, although, there is a hand bike at the gym I cant wait to try when I can move a little. Sympathy calls/emails are coming in at a high rate ( I appreciate them all) and I have more work to do on my couch than when I am able to go to client sites (go figure). All in all, its not too bad.
Feb. 7- Saints win Superbowl
Feb. 8-16- Party, Party Party, everybody gets wasted along with a Fat Tuesday
Feb. 17- New Orleans doesn't appear on Google Maps, Google Earth, Yahoo Maps or on Mapquest and the Corps of Engineers identifies the City as missing.
I have sources that live in the NO that tell me that Miami may be a place to be for the Superbowl, but New Orleans is THE PLACE TO BE from Jan 30 on. The city may just "Who Dat" itself right off the map. We almost lost that great city once, and now, a larger more dangerous threat has re-surfaced! New Orleans is about to lose its collective mind! I would be there! I promise! But this damn foot/calf/leg has me incarcerated, probably for my own good. I will pray for its inhabitants instead!I could always settle for Miami, just sayin!
On a more serious note, I hope for the best for New Orleans. That City deserves to have its spirits uplifted after the devastation of Katrina. I saw people shed tears of joy after watching the NFC Championship Game, and I truly understood why. The City itself hasn't quite recovered from the events of a few years ago. There is still a lot of emotional and financial healing that needs to occur, but the Saints have done alot to aid in both aspects. I really wanted to see Brett in the Superbowl, but I guess this is better for the the greater good. I am sure the entire country (minus Indiana) will be behind our Creole cousins from the South. I have officially joined WHO DAT NATION! They even got the PRESIDENT on their side!
By the way, the foot is fine, I have to keep it elevated for 50 out 60 minutes every hour, which sucks, but it could be worse! I am still not taking pain meds (so STUPID!). I have worked out twice doing crunches, modified push-ups, and shoulder press. I am trying to eat FAR less than usual, because I have no ability to do cardio, although, there is a hand bike at the gym I cant wait to try when I can move a little. Sympathy calls/emails are coming in at a high rate ( I appreciate them all) and I have more work to do on my couch than when I am able to go to client sites (go figure). All in all, its not too bad.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Post Surgery Without Medication
So some of you may know this, I had an allergic reaction to something that landed me in the ER/Urgent care twice last week. I looked like this guy:
So needless to say, I don't wanna do that again... period. Especially since we don't know exactly what it was. It could have been Aleve, could have been a new cereal, it could have been Sunny D. I know I am allergic to Vioxx, so the doctors have said all Non- steroidal anti-inflammatories are a no-go for me. My thing is... what if I have another allergy we don't know about yet? Can you imagine hives and my leg like this. Uh NO! So, I have essentially sworn off my pain medicine prescribed for this surgery. Yeah! I am completely able to feel it all! Kinda sucks! But on the bright side, if you need some pain meds, I GOT YOU! $5 bucks a pill, come holla. (DEA, I am just kidding. I promise!)
So needless to say, I don't wanna do that again... period. Especially since we don't know exactly what it was. It could have been Aleve, could have been a new cereal, it could have been Sunny D. I know I am allergic to Vioxx, so the doctors have said all Non- steroidal anti-inflammatories are a no-go for me. My thing is... what if I have another allergy we don't know about yet? Can you imagine hives and my leg like this. Uh NO! So, I have essentially sworn off my pain medicine prescribed for this surgery. Yeah! I am completely able to feel it all! Kinda sucks! But on the bright side, if you need some pain meds, I GOT YOU! $5 bucks a pill, come holla. (DEA, I am just kidding. I promise!)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Insomnia Suck
Cant sleep! Cant figure out a way to post this leg up and still be comfortable. But this insomnia allowed me to watch the Bulls replay. Watch this stupid dunk by D. Rose!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Anesthesia and the F-word
Who knew anesthesia will cause an educated man, to go directly back to the hood? Wait before we go any further lets look at how I was prior to surgery!
So anyway, pre-surgery, I am sitting on the gurney, cool breezes are going up my gown. I am nervous as I can be, but then, as if she knew exactly what to do; the nurse injects that happy juice in my IV! We wait for a reaction... nothing! Then all of a sudden I felt like I was at the Kings of Comedy and no one was speaking. An earthquake could have started and I would have laughed hysterically. Ladies and Gents, I am officially f-ed up! This is better than Patron by leaps and bounds. I must have passed out because I don't remember anything else.
Fast forward, two hours later. I cannot confirm or deny these reports because mentally I am on the East Coast, and lucid thoughts are in the Pacific Ocean but.... supposedly I had an absolute affinity with the f-bomb. I am talking about that time where every sentence contained an F-bomb and you cant stop. When the TV version of Tourettes has you by the tongue. Yep that was me. I mean statements like "Man I am f-ed up" or "my f-ing leg is f-ing burning" or "the f-ing floor is moving" etc. were flowing like lava. Richard Prior and Bernie Mac came together in one, AT THE HOSPITAL. Who knew Anesthesia would bring it out? Speaking of which:
So anyway, pre-surgery, I am sitting on the gurney, cool breezes are going up my gown. I am nervous as I can be, but then, as if she knew exactly what to do; the nurse injects that happy juice in my IV! We wait for a reaction... nothing! Then all of a sudden I felt like I was at the Kings of Comedy and no one was speaking. An earthquake could have started and I would have laughed hysterically. Ladies and Gents, I am officially f-ed up! This is better than Patron by leaps and bounds. I must have passed out because I don't remember anything else.
Fast forward, two hours later. I cannot confirm or deny these reports because mentally I am on the East Coast, and lucid thoughts are in the Pacific Ocean but.... supposedly I had an absolute affinity with the f-bomb. I am talking about that time where every sentence contained an F-bomb and you cant stop. When the TV version of Tourettes has you by the tongue. Yep that was me. I mean statements like "Man I am f-ed up" or "my f-ing leg is f-ing burning" or "the f-ing floor is moving" etc. were flowing like lava. Richard Prior and Bernie Mac came together in one, AT THE HOSPITAL. Who knew Anesthesia would bring it out? Speaking of which:
Thursday, January 21, 2010
11 hours till surgery, which means 2.5 more hours to eat!
So, I have a lot of work to get done today before the "man in white" fixes my Achilles. Wait, this perfect timing to let you see how Stewie feels about the man in white.
Anyway, who the F came up with these damn rules on not eating 8 hours before surgery. Bull!! Complete and utter. So now, I am gonna glutton myself for the next hour or so, just to piss off the man! BTW, I have found, for short bursts of movement, hopping around on one foot is much, much better that using crutches. Scares the crap out of the cats, but it is much more efficient. And since my number one short burst is for food, it helps burn the calories I am about to consume. Just a thought.
Back to the man in white. I hope he is good at what he does. Can you imagine a jacked up Achilles for life. I am going to ask so many questions tomorrow, he will want to sedate me just so I STFU! Getting nervous at 1am+ 2 hours left to eat= Bad for the physique.
Anyway, who the F came up with these damn rules on not eating 8 hours before surgery. Bull!! Complete and utter. So now, I am gonna glutton myself for the next hour or so, just to piss off the man! BTW, I have found, for short bursts of movement, hopping around on one foot is much, much better that using crutches. Scares the crap out of the cats, but it is much more efficient. And since my number one short burst is for food, it helps burn the calories I am about to consume. Just a thought.
Back to the man in white. I hope he is good at what he does. Can you imagine a jacked up Achilles for life. I am going to ask so many questions tomorrow, he will want to sedate me just so I STFU! Getting nervous at 1am+ 2 hours left to eat= Bad for the physique.
I finally did it, I tore the $hi% out of this thing!
Well, I did it. I have accomplished a feat 230,000 other Americans complete annually. It is a monumental task for those who seek masochistic satisfaction. I have tried on numerous occasions to completely cross this river, and with a heart filled with joy, I can finally say "I AM VICTORIOUS!" Ladies and gentleman. I have ruptured my right Achilles tendon.
What this means to me is beyond words. Almost 4 years ago, while trying to dunk a basketball, I came down on someone's ankle. I suffered a medium ankle sprain, and developed bursitis and tendonitis in both Achilles. While being treated, a doctor explained that the hardened scar tissue that may form due to the tendonitis may increase my chances for complete rupture (a diagnosis my current surgeon vehemently disagrees with) For the last 4 years its been a question of when and how I would tear it rather than an "if". I never stopped being active. I run, jump, spar, grapple anytime I get the opportunity, but always with some trepidation about what could happen "back there." Anytime I would feel a sharp pain, or increased soreness, I would wonder "Hmmm, is this it? Have I torn it?" I got pretty sick of wondering and became more and more irritated about it! I really wanted it to tear the damn thing and get over it!
Fast forward, 4 years later, I am playing basketball (See a pattern. I have also broken my hand playing basketball... at a volleyball tournament, GO FIGURE!), I grab a rebound in a small crowd and someone comes down on the back of my heel/calf while it was fully flexed. POP! I knew it, at that very moment I had no ability to stand or walk. The cliche statements about people feeling like they have been shot in the back of the leg...Yep THAT WAS ME! I crawled off the court. People kept asking "Are you OK?", I replied with a big smile "absolutely not!". I am not sure if the smile threw them off, but they all smiled back and didn't say much else. This included gym staff, who instead of offering assistance just smiled and said, "I hope you feel better." IDIOTS!
Anyway, so I am now a keyboard warrior, posting the exciting times of an official gimp. I will post pics, tell stories of rehab pain, and bore you with stories of my never ending boredom. It should be a fun ride, I have to ride at least 4 planes to Virginia and back, travel across Indiana and Illinois by car, go lead 160 troops, and not get divorced. GOOD LUCK TO ME!
What this means to me is beyond words. Almost 4 years ago, while trying to dunk a basketball, I came down on someone's ankle. I suffered a medium ankle sprain, and developed bursitis and tendonitis in both Achilles. While being treated, a doctor explained that the hardened scar tissue that may form due to the tendonitis may increase my chances for complete rupture (a diagnosis my current surgeon vehemently disagrees with) For the last 4 years its been a question of when and how I would tear it rather than an "if". I never stopped being active. I run, jump, spar, grapple anytime I get the opportunity, but always with some trepidation about what could happen "back there." Anytime I would feel a sharp pain, or increased soreness, I would wonder "Hmmm, is this it? Have I torn it?" I got pretty sick of wondering and became more and more irritated about it! I really wanted it to tear the damn thing and get over it!
Fast forward, 4 years later, I am playing basketball (See a pattern. I have also broken my hand playing basketball... at a volleyball tournament, GO FIGURE!), I grab a rebound in a small crowd and someone comes down on the back of my heel/calf while it was fully flexed. POP! I knew it, at that very moment I had no ability to stand or walk. The cliche statements about people feeling like they have been shot in the back of the leg...Yep THAT WAS ME! I crawled off the court. People kept asking "Are you OK?", I replied with a big smile "absolutely not!". I am not sure if the smile threw them off, but they all smiled back and didn't say much else. This included gym staff, who instead of offering assistance just smiled and said, "I hope you feel better." IDIOTS!
Anyway, so I am now a keyboard warrior, posting the exciting times of an official gimp. I will post pics, tell stories of rehab pain, and bore you with stories of my never ending boredom. It should be a fun ride, I have to ride at least 4 planes to Virginia and back, travel across Indiana and Illinois by car, go lead 160 troops, and not get divorced. GOOD LUCK TO ME!
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